There comes a time in every man’s life when he looks at a stuck door, a jammed tailgate, or an engine that refuses to start—and thinks, “You know what this situation needs? Less patience. More knife.”
Now, I’m not saying I once tried to perform automotive exorcism with a fixed blade, but I will say there’s a hole in my hood shaped suspiciously like a tanto tip, and the truck’s been idling smoother ever since.
Enter The BEAST — Brian Hoffner’s answer to the age-old question: “What if your pry bar and your survival knife had a love child raised by Navy SEALs and taught to hate drywall?”
The BEAST: Because Sometimes You Need a Knife That Can Demolish a large shed:
Created by Brian Hoffner — a guy who’s lived more action movie plotlines than the average Netflix catalog — the BEAST was born from necessity. As a military vet, longtime Houston cop, and tactical instructor, Hoffner didn’t just want a knife. He wanted a force of nature.
Let’s Break This Down Like the BEAST Breaks Through Drywall:
Size REALLY Matters
The BEAST sports a 7-inch tanto blade. Not 6.5. Not 6.9. Seven full inches of pure, stabby intention. It’s the knife equivalent of showing up to a cookout with your own smoker. Overkill? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely.
At 3/8 of an inch thick, this thing is less “knife” and more “sharp crowbar with a vendetta.” It’s the kind of blade that makes lesser knives quietly slide back into the drawer when it enters the room.
Pry Bar with an Edge
Literally. The BEAST is warrantied to pry things. Let that sink in. Hoffner isn’t warning you not to use it as a crowbar — he’s encouraging it. Doors, windows, walls, stubborn tree roots, the occasional zombie — if it resists, the BEAST insists.
Indestructible? Basically.
It’ll cut, chop, stab, smash, pry, rake, crash, slash, and do everything short of filing your taxes. Though honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it could etch “1040-EZ” into a granite slab.
Grippy G10 Handles
The G10 scales on this thing are grippier than your conspiracy-theorist uncle at Thanksgiving. Textured, rugged, waterproof, and tough enough to survive literal fire and brimstone (probably). You’re not dropping this thing even if your hands are covered in mud, sweat, or victory.
440C Super Steel
This ain’t your grandpa’s stainless steel. The BEAST uses 440C, hardened to 56–58 HRC — which, for the non-metal nerds out there, means it’ll hold an edge long after your friends’ knives have given up and become letter openers.
Confidence: Built-In
This isn’t just a knife. It’s a psychological advantage. Strapped to your hip, it whispers, “Go ahead and try it.” If the job can’t be handled by the BEAST, it probably requires explosives or divine intervention.
Field Test: The Chili Can Incident:
To truly put the BEAST through its paces, I decided to simulate the harshest conditions a knife owner can face: a poorly planned solo camping trip with questionable weather, a raccoon problem, and exactly one can of chili standing between me and starvation.
Phase One: Firewood Duty
I didn’t bring an axe. I brought the BEAST. After batoning through a log roughly the size of my ego, I had a pile of firewood and a mild sense of invincibility. The BEAST didn’t even blink. (It would have, if it had eyes. Instead, it gleamed ominously in the firelight.)
Phase Two: Chili Can Conundrum
No can opener? No problem. A couple quick taps with the tanto tip and the can surrendered like it owed me money. The chili may have had some shrapnel, but that’s just extra iron, right?
Phase Three: Unexpected Raccoon Ambush
As I was enjoying my slightly metallic dinner, a gang of raccoons made their move. One even tried to grab the can. Rookie mistake. I stood up, drew the BEAST slowly like I was in a Western standoff, and gave them the look.
They scattered. One even dropped the lid in what I can only assume was a sign of surrender.
Bonus Round: Tent Stake Malfunction
One of my tent stakes broke in rocky soil. So, I made a new one. From a tree. With the BEAST. Because of course I did.
Final Thoughts:
You want a camping knife? Cool, get one.
You want the last knife you’ll ever need unless you lose it in a bear fight? Get the BEAST.
The BEAST isn’t just a knife. It’s a survival strategy with a handle. If you want something that slices, pries, intimidates raccoons, and probably doubles as a boat anchor in emergencies, this is it.
Get one before your chili can mocks you.
Stay Sharp
About the Author: Alan “Chase” Chiasson is a knife enthusiast with a deep appreciation for craftsmanship and precision. He is also the co-author of the award-winning book “Postcards Through Hell,” The true story of the most remarkable US mail delivery service in Afghanistan. Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Kindle. His relationship with Brian Hoffner has fueled a passion for exploring the art and science behind knife design, which he shares through ‘Chasing Steel.“.